911

If one day, you finally heed the call of your wrist and decided to make a heaven out of your slit.

If one day, you have neated all of your clothes and prepared all your notes.

If one day, you have drown yourself and made tiny bubbles of help

If one day, you have pulled the trigger and finally silenced the voices in your head

If that day comes, 

If it will come,

May your spirit stay and your violet-bruised body be the remnants of an unsaid story.

May you hear cries and laments that will hopefully quench the hunger of your soul.

May you go over the 2am conversations we had and let me know why wasn’t it enough?

May you read the words I have woven as your epitaph.

“To the weary soul I know, I love you. In that great space, may love find you too”

May you forgive me...

Forgive me for sending you gifts instead of asking how are you.

Forgive me for depriving you of the right to be depressed just because I think your problem is less.

Forgive me for trying to fix you when all you wanted was to shred a part of you.

Forgive me for injecting you positivity when all you needed was serenity...

to be calm amidst all qualms

to be at peace while everything else is in pieces

to be accepted while everything else is coated. 

And if one day, if it’s my turn to leave the earth and meet the Creator I have avoided

I’ll ask a favor before He sends me to a hell or a cave full of unsaved.

For the last time, I’d like Him to grant me the favor of meeting you.

so that I can finally ask what I have never ask,

How are you?

What are you feeling today?

I’m glad I met you!

I appreciate you!

We need you!