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Showing posts with label Short Stories and Poems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Short Stories and Poems. Show all posts

Monday, 9 March 2020

The Guy From St. Ezekiel



        I am staring at the billions of fictional wish granting dots that are shimmering in the sky and seemingly laughing at me because I am foolish enough to still make a wish out of a fire ball. Well, if you are that hopeless romantic 7th grader who happens to be enamored, enchanted and allured to an 8th grader , whose name should not be mentioned for fear that the test- takers might laugh, you would do fatuous things. I am not proud admitting to anyone that I fell so hard but it is better to be stupid than to never had felt love ever.
          It was the first day of school and I was freaking late.  I remembered waking up so early that day but choosing the perfect OOTD consumed all my time. When I arrived, the flag ceremony had started and I had to wait for the whole rite to end. Fortunately, the latecomers were allowed to join the line when the patriotic pledge was recited. I ran and joined the line along with the other newbies. Already soaked with sweat, I aimed for my hankie and clumsily dropped it to the floor. I tried to use my peripheral vision to see who’s adjacent to me and my two eyes landed on an ethereal sight of a gorgeous creature.  I couldn’t stop staring, it is as if my eyes were designed to stare at this creation to feast, to appreciate and to LOVE? “Ohh, my God! You freaking idiot! What are you doing?” I said to myself admitting that it was a preposterous thing to do. “Instead of feasting that guy, why don’t you pick that hankie of yours and compose yourself” my logical self told me again.
After the morning activity, I picked up my hankie slowly so that I could have a better view to the guy adjacent to me. The teacher with a long straight hair held the microphone and said something that didn’t register to my senses because I was staring at him. Everything went mute. Time stopped. Heavy breathing. Everything felt right. I tried to smile. He ignored me.  It was not the most ideal way to start a school year but I thought it was the perfect opening for me to have something to hope for every day.
        Weeks past, I started to get some minor information about him. His friends are Jebu, Mark and Patrick and that he is close with Hannah, Shinley, Cheska and Alayne from St. Rita. Even though I couldn’t get near to him because we don’t have common friends. I can still access some details about him through Ate Riza who happens to be a walking encyclopedia about him. I also suspect that she likes him. She seems insecure whenever I start talking about him.  Well, we can never tell.
         Acquaintance party came and I thought it was the suited moment for introductions. When Ate Rica from ARSC let us play the “Bagay, Tao, Bagyo” I thought it was my chance.  The mechanics of the game was simple. It is just like playing Open the Basket except that when the host says “Bagyo”, we need to scamper and look for open homes. I tried to navigate him through my infallible eyes and located his position with a devastating confirmation that he is with Ate Danica Nicole. The hosts said “Bagyo” which was the cue for us to scatter. I ran fast as I could to be in his arms but a large build body bumped me and made me tripped down butt first.
        “Excuse me Miss! Are you okay” that panira moment guy said.
        “ Yeah, I’m fine.” I said pithily.
        “ I’m Clint by the way”, he said.
         “ Sure! Thanks for bumping me” I said sarcastically.
        “No problemus! It was nice bumping you anyway” he smiled playfully and left.
I tried to look again for my guy and can’t seem to find him so I carelessly walked backwards and bumped to something solid again. I was about to nag but when I looked up it was him. Everything went mute. Time stopped. Heavy breathing. Everything felt right. I tried to smile. And he smiled at me too. I tried to regain my strength so I can get up but my knees were trembling and my heart exploded into thousands of butterflies. The night, though was imperfect, felt magical because I had my encounter with the guy from St. Ezekiel.
After that night, I spent the entire month of the school year dreaming and day dreaming of a gazillion of what-if’s. I scribbled his name in the pages of my favorite books. I ordered countless Starbucks coffee using his name. I attended his basketball games. I even planned already our future wedding. But then, one day, the guy from St. Ezekiel stopped attending his classes. The guy from St. Ezekiel no longer walked in the corridors of our school. The guy from St. Ezekiel has stopped bringing sunshine to everyone he knew. The guy from St. Ezekiel is gone forever.
My heart breaks into pieces and the butterflies in my chest have not departed yet. Tragic is the most appropriate word to describe how it ended. But the tragedy should not overlooked the eternal sunshine he has given not only to me but to everyone. Though his death was clouded with confusion and everyone has their version of truth as to why he ended it. But I choose to believe that he just picked his wings and went on an endless adventure somewhere. Someday, we might meet in a place where I could finally him Emmanuel, the guy from St. Ezekiel.

Monday, 17 September 2018

911

If one day, you finally heed the call of your wrist and decided to make a heaven out of your slit.
If one day, you have neated all of your clothes and prepared all your notes.
If one day, you have drown yourself and made tiny bubbles of help
If one day, you have pulled the trigger and finally silenced the voices in your head
If that day comes, 
If it will come,
May your spirit stay and your violet-bruised body be the remnants of an unsaid story.
May you hear cries and laments that will hopefully quench the hunger of your soul.
May you go over the 2am conversations we had and let me know why wasn’t it enough?
May you read the words I have woven as your epitaph.
“To the weary soul I know, I love you. In that great space, may love find you too”
May you forgive me...
Forgive me for sending you gifts instead of asking how are you.
Forgive me for depriving you of the right to be depressed just because I think your problem is less.
Forgive me for trying to fix you when all you wanted was to shred a part of you.
Forgive me for injecting you positivity when all you needed was serenity...
to be calm amidst all qualms
to be at peace while everything else is in pieces
to be accepted while everything else is coated. 
And if one day, if it’s my turn to leave the earth and meet the Creator I have avoided
I’ll ask a favor before He sends me to a hell or a cave full of unsaved.
For the last time, I’d like Him to grant me the favor of meeting you.
so that I can finally ask what I have never ask,
How are you?
What are you feeling today?
I’m glad I met you!
I appreciate you!

We need you!

Tuesday, 21 August 2018

I Still Have Your Loveletters

I still have your love letters by the way.
Enveloped with the love I can still give until today.
I still read them as if we didn’t mutter our goobyes and curse each other every night.
I tucked them gently closer to my chest and try to reminsce all the memories we thought can outstand the rest.

 I still have your love letters by the way
though I have seen you across the street with somebody,
You changed your status to in a relationship today
You have never bothered greeting me on my birthday 
and have seenzoned all my messages on a Christmas Day.
But who cares?h
I have your love letters anyway. 

I still have your love letters by the way
though you never talked to me 
we never patched things like it should be
we let the wolves howl our longings to the moon
and you never move an inch in your hate throne.
Nevertheless, your loveletters are still at home.

Each night, I read them again and again
mouthing every word as if freshly spoken, 
remembering a shadow who once promised his love never be shaken
and shaming oneself for the desperate waiting.
Until that time when grief has spent itself,
regrets become jokes in private,
pains no longer hide in the closet,

I’ll keep the loveletters waiting for just one final visit.

Sunday, 20 November 2016

White handkerchief

I’m standing in the dark old wooden dock
Closing my eyes to see clearly
I’m just listening
To the sound of splashes slapping the stones below
To the harsh hum of the wind in my ear
To the distant laughters of people nearby
to the creaking of the woods
to the faint crittering of creatures
to my own heavy breathing
it’s when you see nothing when you feel everything
When I opened my eyes I saw you in that scene
I saw everything from that moment the Captain said “All aboard!”
You waved your white handkerchief
And then the sea  swayed you away forever.


Saturday, 19 November 2016

Tug of Stares

  He used to stick his face in the window trying his best to glue his eyes on me while I was busy reading my book. He would stay there in a lapse of time looking at me like a painter looking at the ornate details of his subject. At first, I didn’t mind the nameless phantom that was lurking in the corner but seeing him looking at me as if I am the most beautiful thing in the world, made me decide to say “Hi” the next time. The next day, the same thing happened but this time, I acknowledged his presence and smiled at him. It was a casual smile and his reaction was priceless. He shouted “yes” and ran somewhere in the dark realm of anonymity. Deep within me, something was forming. A formation which I can’t fully comprehend but yet I suffered the symptom. I just want to see him again by the window sticking his face while eyes were fixed on me.  Finally, the next day, he said something his eyes can’t and it was his name. We talked for hours over things that weren’t matter and definitely not important and beyond the logical woman that I claimed to be, I can’t understand why I’m dying to talk to him. The next day, with all excruciating excitement and thrill, my eyes searched for his eyes and found a familiar built standing to the next room. With all curiosity, I went out and found him eyeing to the new girl in the next room. I went back to my room and wished I didn’t look back when those eyes were on me.



Sunday, 7 August 2016

I Love You Ma'am

I remembered when I was checking my papers and I was really dead serious about it. I was alone at that time in the faculty since it was past 6 pm already. The room was plastered with silence aside from some faint voices you can hear from the night classes. I was swallowed to the world of my students' ideas and swam against the current of their inconsistencies. When suddenly someone shouted " I love you Ma'am" so loud that it took my spirit away. I got up and went outside. I haven't seen a soul near the office aside from those girls who were taking some pictures. I get back to my table and blushed for awhile. I can feel that my smile was hooked from ear to ear because I have to admit it's not everyday you will get an I love you from random people.
‪#‎CreativeNonFiction‬

Wednesday, 2 March 2016

   The Untold Goodbye 



         As they slowly moved you to that rectangular hollow dead end, the screeching of your coffin was the only sound reverberating in that unruffled afternoon. No wailing, no crying and no sobbing and nothing! It was a queer funeral. My friends were ignoring each other’s glances and were deeply muted. I smiled awkwardly. I looked again at your coffin, now I can only view you from the unwanted spaces between the disfigured bricks but then again no top-of-the-lungs wail was ever let out. I aimed my camera at the last piece to be covered by the man who holds the trowel and sighed, “I guess it is either we don’t know how to say goodbye or we are not just prepared to say goodbye.”

Saturday, 31 October 2015

The Cliff


The Cliff

If your mother is a teacher expect that your playground is the school. You enter classes that are not yours and make fun of the teacher’s illustrations. You snatch other kids’ food, you bully them and you make fun of them. You have the full access to the school’s surroundings and a passport to the Grade 6 pupil’s garden. The school was like a park to me, a paradise to discover especially the cliff in the backyard of the school. The cliff was a result to a natural cause where big waves splash to the shore and eroding its soil until it was eating slowly by slowly the land, creating a picturesque of a 15 feet cliff. The soil in the cliff was like a dress slowly being taken off by the hands of Poseidon and showing us the naked roots of trees and buried materials. In the backyard of the school, there were also lots of Ipil- ipil trees which Ma’am Amor,  the Grade 6 adviser,  used to get some for her goat and sometimes  fooled her pupils to get some of those green Ipil-Ipil branches in exchange for higher grades. There were also bushes there, tall enough to hide the butt of the pupils when they poop. Among the Ipil-ipil trees and the tall bushes were old Mahogany trees that were hot spot for creepy stories and mysteries. The older teachers would say that those trees were homes of the dwarves and other older folks would say that those were the haven of the “di Ingon nato”. Next to the old trees was an unfinished and unused Comfort Room. It was an eyesore, I would say! It stood at the left side of the backyard, creating an aura of spookiness. My inquisitiveness about the matter was profound that I asked the older folks around the area, since none of the teachers knew why it was built there and why it was unused. But then instead of telling us logical answers, they opted to tell us horror stories about that C.R. A long time ago, there was this girl who committed suicide in that C.R. They added, at night they hear sobs from that girl and faint voices calling “Mama! Mama”.  We didn’t believe such things because the principal, who happened to be our friend and was very fond of us, told us that it was not used because it was made of poor materials and its distance from the classroom was a labor for the teachers.
“But please girls! Do not go near to that building because there might snakes out there. You don’t want to get bitten by these vile creatures, do you?” The Principal warned us in a dignifying way.
“Yes Sir!” My sister and I answered in chorus while flashing our angelic smiles.
            It was a Monday in March when we set on a very spirited decision to go there.  All of the teachers were busy for the upcoming Graduation including our Mama Jinky. They were cutting letters, printing programs and busy buying ribbons and medals for the commencement exercise. With the limited time, works should be doubled. The Principal then called for an emergency meeting even if it is already 12:00 p.m. We were in the session hall already waiting for our Mama Jinky and listening to each teacher’s whines and complains about the urgency of the meeting that it cannot wait ‘till afternoon. I thought that teachers were self-sacrificing and God-like creatures who don’t complain about the pressures of their work but then that moment I realized that teachers are also humans, they complain about things that interrupt the cycle of their should be convenient existence and backbite people which is in contrary to what they teach.  I was already so hungry that my stomach sounded as if there were lions roaring in my intestines, screaming for food. My sister, on the other hand, was as usual always optimistic about almost everything, oblivious to the fact that it was already noon. I still didn’t get how she manages to stay enthusiastic when in fact she rarely eats her meals and she is as thin as a bamboo stick. After the long wait, our Mama Jinky finally arrived from her Math class.
            “Mama! When are we going home? It is already 12 p.m. and I am really really hungry” I complained.
            “This will not take long. Just wait for me in here and do not go home unless if I say so. Do not go anywhere just wait here and watch your sister.” She pleaded with all her affective strategies to win us and for us to behave like the Princesses of Denmark.
            She was about to enter the door when she turned her head again to me and said,
.           “Cielo, do not go anywhere. I know you! Please behave just for this time”
            I said “Yes, I promise! No fooling around this time. ”
            Then my Mother was swallowed by that dirty white door and left us with nothing to do. I tried to calm my horses and stayed to where am I seated but that itching curiosity that kept irritating my state of thinking convinced me to do something incredibly stupid. I jumped from my seat and started goofing around my sister. My sister really did not care so I have to aggravate her by calling her names.
            “ Hey Tikling”
            “What now?” My sister shouted back.
            “ You know! I was just wondering if we could check out the haunted C.R. in the backyard. It would be perfect since we are left with nothing to do except to wait and besides it is already 12pm and maybe we can see some ghost there”. I said.
            “Baboy Damo, You know that we promised that we will stay here?”My sister reasoned
            “Yes! But it won’t take long so Mama Jinky will not even know that we had gone snooping around the haunted C.R.” I tried to convince her.
            “Okey, then just a peep and we are out of there.” She finally gave in.
            We then marched to the narrow passageway to the backyard. Teachers cannot get through that passageway because it was much tapered and it was not really a passageway. It was just a vertical slit unintentionally created because the Grade 1 classroom and the office were not joined. The foul odour of urine greeted us as we strode to the concourse. We covered our noses because the smell was like a whiff of ammonia acid permeating in the air and infiltrating to our nostrils. We walked faster than ever and yes! We reached the end. We jumped in complete exuberance because we have survived. We then darted off to the pilapil of the rice field because at the end of it was our final destination. We spread our arms to balance ourselves to keep us from falling to the mushy mud like that we usually saw on T.V. where an artist would spread his/her arms and walked to the wire. There were only two people there, me and my sister. The quietude of the surroundings was creating an eerie feeling that kept me looking around. I don’t know if it was just a product of my  imagination or a factual realization that there were eyes staring at us, watching our every step and among those trees were creatures we don’t see but can see us. My sister who was ahead of me was oblivious to my worries and self-war, stopped at the dirty old door and looked back at me. I then hurriedly run towards her and I stand next to her. We both released a heavy air when we placed our hands to the door and pushed it gently. As we opened the door widely, the cold air brushed my skin and cheeks, the rotting smell of wood was the first odour I recognized and the first sight that greeted us was the cob-webbed cubicle with the dirty white-stained bowl. There were vandals in the wall like The Crips and The Bloods. Most of them were gangsters’ names and signs. There was nothing unusual there, no skulls, no rope and no bloodstains just an old abandoned and never used comfort room. My sister who was clearly disappointed got out ahead first then I followed while looking at every detail of the room. When I got out, I tried to look for my sister because she just slipped away from my sight.
“Michilleeee! Michilleeeee! Let’s go back to the office now” I called out.
“Ate! Come over here” she shouted back.
            I followed her voice and walked among those tall Ipil- Ipil. I was very nervous because I am heading to the cliff. I found her standing near to the edge of the cliff and I hurriedly grabbed her hand.
            “You should not stand near the cliff, you might fall” I reprimanded.
            She pulled her hands from my clasping hands and I let it go.
            “I know! But you have to check this out!”
            We had never set foot to the cliff side of the school but we were told about this stone that served as the haven of the sirens and mermaids. My sister was captivated about this stone being the home of these magical and mythical creatures that she really never paid attention to what I said.
            “Hoy tikling, we have to go now. Mama Jinky will be so worried if she found out that we were gone” I warned her again.
            Finally she heeded to what I said and started to move. I turned my back and started walking but then I heard my sister shouted-
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
            I looked back, hurriedly ran towards her, dropped on my knees and looked down. She was there clinging unto the roots. Tears were streaming in her cheeks and I don’t know what to do. She was shouting “Ate! Ate!” while she tightened her grip unto the roots. I didn’t say a word but tears were pouring, I don’t know where my voice was and I don’t know what to say. Instead of comforting her, I left her without a word because in my mind there was only one person to turn to at times like this, my mother. I ran like a mad woman and rushed towards the Session Hall. Other kids who saw me crying followed me dead curious to what happened to me and what news will I bring. Fortunately, my Mama Jinky was already waiting outside the session Hall worried and when she saw me in tears, she already sensed that something was wrong.
            “Mama! Mama!” I called out.
            “What happened?” she asked.
            I opened my mouth but instead of words, heavy sobs came out. I opened my mouth again but instead of a voice, tears were raging. That was one of the moments that I want to let her know but all I could do was to show her how I felt. She shook my shoulders and asked the same question. Still, I can’t talk. I am still in the state of being lost at words. I can see her worried face turned to very alarmed but with me can’t talk she became very anxious. She slapped me and slapped me and slapped me. That was the first time that she slapped me and I can’t forget that moment of silence. She was cursing and slapping me at the same time but I could not comprehend a thing to what she was saying. It was as if everything was in mute and all I can do was looked her in the eye wishing her to stop.  The other kids were surrounding us; others were smiling and exchanging whispers. Clearly they are enjoying the circus of drama which added the pressure on me.
            “Michelle on the cliff” I finally blurted.
            My Mom then let go of me and ran quickly to the backyard. The other kids also did the same, they all rushed to the cliff leaving me paralyzed. They were bumping at me as if I am invisible and I was watching them like a child watching a procession with a fast forward version. I felt a sudden pain in my butt it was then I realized that Mrs. Garcia the Grade 2 teacher pinched me and she walked passed over me. The pinched was nothing compared to the red traces of my mother’s hand in my cheeks. But that pinched was enough to bring me back to reality that I still have a sister hanging in a root.

            When I arrived there the show was over because the children were now retreating from their steps and started making a fuss about what happened. I rolled my eyes and searched for my Mother and there I saw her approaching, carrying my poor scared sister. I was relieved and waited for them but my Mother walked passed at me, oblivious to my presence or maybe just ignoring me. I was staring at them my Mother cuddling my sister and my sister hugging my Mother while walking. I followed them like a puppy but for a minute I stopped and looked back then continued walking.